I’m sharing some personal thoughts today. Bear with me. I have a point I swear…
We are prepping for Trace’s “Single Event Multi Level” surgery in the next several weeks. Essentially they will go in from his hips to his ankles, cutting and lengthening tendons, realligning hips, femur and ankles bones to be in proper order. Its a 12 week intense recovery so several transitions need to be made to accomodate the care Trace will need. It has been difficult for us to adjust to the struggles Trace has been having. His CP has progressed with growth and he is far less mobile than he has ever been. No more of his “run”, steps are a nightmare that you only wish to avoid, getting up and down makes me want to cry to watch and I only wish I could take away his constant knee pain. This does not even compare to my worries of how he is coping on the inside.
When you go into Childrens Hospital you cannot help but think: “Oh my gosh, what am I complaining about, we are so lucky because so many have it so much worse” Not to mention the children battling cancer. It is hard to not give in to the urge to tell doctors and schedulers fit us in now! My son needs help! But then you remind yourself of all the kids who need their help. This is a sentiment that luckily Trace is always thinking of too. (He kind of rocks, and I sometimes appall myself with my bragging ;P)
So I just wanted to share a story with you. Have you heard about dimes from Heaven? Many people who know me have already heard about the dimes. For several years since my dear friend Mitchell passed, I have been finding dimes. Soon after he passed, his amazing mom shared with me that she and others had been finding them and it began….
I save them all. Even labeling the ones I have found during particular times or thoughts. I find them in the most random places, out on Pearl Harbor, under my pillow, while walking into work, even a Mexican “diez centavos” in my ring dish once. My family and friends will call me to share a story of a dime they found. I love them!
I like to believe the dimes are a little sign/reminder, a small shiny gift from your angels that there is HOPE. There is someone watching out for you. Thinking of you. I have many times had to ask people “can I take this dime off your floor?” or “excuse me I just need to grab this dime!”
Yesterday I went to pick up lunch for the shop and was paying when a young man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He didnt say a word, just held a dime in my face. I stared at him with instant teary eyes as several seconds ticked by. Then he looked at me in manly horror and he said, um you dropped this.
It took me time to recover from this particular dime because all I could think was, “ok MD what does this one mean?” Its during all this change and turmoil that I get caught up wondering what these signs could mean. Am I making the right choices? Should I be doing this differently? What if it all falls apart if I do it this way?
So instead, I just take a deep breath, and think…Thank You for the reminder that you are on my side. There is no real point in sharing this but to say, look around you for your signs from heaven. They are there. Pay attention and be open to reminders of HOPE.
PS: thanks for the dimes MD. I know you are watching out for T. And Caroline Davis, thanks for being the amazing mom-in-love and sharing your family with me.